Relationship Information

You were made to need relationships. Yet when your trust has been broken, you may fear closeness or connection. You arrive at the conclusion that it is safer for you to be distant in order to avoid getting hurt. It is possible to be in a room full of people yet to be completely alone. Isolation is painful and damaging to your soul.

So if isolating your heart isn’t the answer, what is?

You need connection with others. It is food for your soul. But you need to choose safe people with whom you can share your vulnerabilities. There are characteristics and qualities to look for in people that are worthy of your trust. In our meetings together, you can discover the types of people that can be deemed safe.

Ingredients Of A Healthy Relationship

1. Realism
In healthy relationships no emotions, problems or issues are denied, ignored or avoided from being discussed. Everything is open, honest and based on reality.

2. Honesty
Relationships are built on trust. Trust comes from truth. There is no place for secrets or dishonesty. Lies, denials and secrets break trust. Mending of broken trust is not easy. Enduring growing relationships are created by truth.

3. Friendship
The basis of all relationship is friendship. This includes relationship between spouses, parent and child, lovers, friends. Without friendship, even passionate romance cannot endure because the risk to use each other then becomes exploitation.

4. Security
Everyone needs at least one true friendship (relationship) to feel safe and secure. Love is the key to true security in relationships. Love is the opposite of fear.

5. Vulnerability
Relationships die where there is cautious and guarded wariness. Relationships can grow where there is freedom to be vulnerable. This requires trust and confidence that our hurts, dreams, secrets are safely kept by another. Then we can disclose our deepest selves without fear.

Each of these ingredients is intertwined with the other. Realistic, open, true relationships are honest. Honesty fosters trust. Trust results in security - lack of fear- love, which allows freedom for vulnerability.